a quick update on ss -- the chemo seems to be working, and he's home for a couple weeks, then back to the hospital for FOURTY-TWO more days of treatment. that can't be good. but i still am trying to take solace in the fact that they obviously think this treatment is worthwhile, so all is definitely not lost. i still feel out of the loop, somewhat, but at least now that things are a bit less dire -- or less immediately dire -- i feel like i can call and ask where things stand. before, the unknown of it all was so scary and emotional, i felt like i didn't dare ask unless it was volunteered. though they are so open and available all the time in general, it probably would have been fine. maybe the fear is/was more mine...

can you believe this is one of my first real confrontations with the prospect of real loss? i feel lucky... and naive.

anyway, we're having dinner next week, so that's good.

in other news, work absolutely sucks, i am completely unmotivated and uninterested, but not really having fun procrastinating either. i think this means it's time for a change. and/or a baby?? hmm.