ss called me yesterday, which was good and bad. i was *really* glad and relieved to hear from him, and get some more information. but he did say he wanted to be sure he talked to me before they checked him in.... which, the way he said it, i took to mean 'in case we don't get to talk again'... andthat broke my heart. i was trying to be really brave and strong for his sakebut he said "i had to talk to my other daughter" and i cried. i keep doing that...

as for his condition, there is "good" (sort of i guess) news and bad news. the good news is the latest blood tests show it's not progressing nearly as fast as they thought, but the bad news is, at the rate it WAS progressing when detected they said he should be dead by now (!). so the doctors are kind of confused as to what's going on. he says they're trying to figure out what to do and what's going on before they start chemo, but he'll probably be admitted sometime this week. frankly i'm not sure why they wouldn't start it right away - but what do i know. it's not good in any case.

for now, he says he's really really tired (awake 2-4 hours a day) and totally anemic/no red blood cells. he said he is scared to shave bc if he nicks himself he might not be able to stop bleeding. he's very philosophical about everything (such as is his personality) but i think it's tough. also, r. is in cuba and he doesn't even know this is going on! i am not sure if that is by their choice (figuring they can't really get him home right now so why stress him out) or if they don't know exactly how to reach him. i didn't ask but this seems like an odd thing to do - i can't imagine he's going to be glad to have been spared the knowledge, especially if things get worse. but what do i know....

(excerpted from an email to cc)

Bad news

got some very bad news yesterday (while i was at work on this increased terror alert project, to make matters worse).

ss (my "dc dad") has acute leukemia and it's apparently progressing fast. i have almost no information - he called while i was at work and talked to g. for a few minutes, but g. was kind of shocked and flustered and didn't really ask some of the questions i would have - like just how serious is this. however, he did say he was starting chemo asap and that they were rushing to "get their affairs in order" before he's checked in, which doesn't sound good. he told g. he has been sleeping 20 hours a day, and g. said he sounded exhausted.

the worst part is, about a month ago we saw him and he was super tired and wasn't eating or doing much, and he said he thought it was part of his permanent infirmity due to polio (which he lives with every day). he had been at a s. reunion and on his feet all weekend, which is bad for him in any case, and he thought he had just overdone it. so i am worried that he just ignored the symptoms for awhile because he thought it was just overexertion... and the stuff i've read on the web says if you don't get treatment right away, it can be very fast-moving and very likely fatal.

i am totally crushed by this, and in a way it's worse because i don't really know what is going on. i've asked pm to keep me posted, but i'm not a family member so keeping little me informed is probably a pretty low priority.

anyway- the week is not off to a great start.

(excerpted from an email to mj)