Waiting, waiting, waiting

Nothing new in preggo land. The doctor wants to schedule an induction, says she doesn't care when (her hospital days this month are Fridays), but so far the hospital hasn't been able to come up with a slot for this week and next week remains to be seen. (I totally have a feeling that the scheduler just didn't feel like dealing with it all last week while I was waiting by the phone, and just kind of let it get away... but I'll never know, so doesn't do me much good to stew I suppose...) Meanwhile, baby doesn't seem to be budging, after that one stormy night of excitement.

My sister says I just need to accept that this is the beginning of a life of not being able to fully control things, and I know that is true... but I am a planner! It's HARD to relinquish control! Argh!

In other, equally uncontrollable and much less optimistic news, SS is nearing the end of the line. He made it to his son's high school graduation, which was always his goal -- but not without a lot of pain and scares and even an eleventh-hour blood transfusion. I don't know if he'll even try to hang on much longer now that he's made it to this point. No one is talking about recovery as even a remote option anymore.

It's hard for me not to think about his deterioration and inevitable passing in conjunction with my own impending new arrival. I hope it will eventually provide comfort for everyone involved -- the notion of a new life to celebrate even as we say goodbye to a beloved one -- but for now it can't help but cast a shadow. I will miss him so, so very much!