Reflections of the First Trimester

a working list, sure to grow as I do...

1. I have come to resent the (many) people who say "Gee, when I was pregnant was the happiest, healthiest, most glorious time of my entire life!!" Who knew the motherhood guilt would kick in so early??

2. Now that my "subtle" highlights have grown out, with no plans to revist them till post-partum, I am forced to acknowledge that I am just not as blonde as I used to be.

3. There is no obvious distinction between morning sickness and heartburn -- one seems to go straight on into the other... And it's not just morning, and it's not just for 13 weeks (for unlucky me....).

4. The purgatory between "real clothes" and maternity clothes is the humiliation of being forced to wear your "fat jeans" and sweats every other day... and remembering why they normally sit at the bottom of your drawers. SO not flattering.

5. I have hair in places I never realized....

6. For the first eight weeks or so I was told my complexion was "glowing." Overnight graduated to "Pizza Face: Return of the Junior High Acne." (Okay -- maybe not THAT bad... but not good either.)

7. Having your husband say you look "frumpy" and/or "dumpy" -- even as a joke -- is SO not amusing. You begin to suspect those feigned looks of horror are actually not feigned...

8. Ordering maternity clothes on the Internet is irresistable, even though you know it's excessive. One good rationale: "I need to order $75 worth to get the free shipping -- I'll return it all except the tank top." Yeah, right!

9. You constantly fight the image to buy all those cute baby clothes, lest you spend ALL your money before the kid's even born...

10. In spite of it all, it's still the most exciting freaking thing ever to happen, nevermind that people do it every day!!