Eruptions

The "outlaws" have come and gone -- well, gone is a relative term (no pun intended). They are still in my house and I'm at work, and they should be truly gone by the time I get home... but we're expecting up to 8" of snow today and so nature could throw a wrench in their travel plans. God help me.

We had some good times, but there was the usual passive-agressive and/or condescending crap. I have to believe she doesn't know she's doing it. But whatever. Lots of snarky comments, lots of jumping to conclusions/reacting without really listening to what we're saying, and lots of implied disapproval ("You're serving THAT wine with dinner? Hummph." "You're putting THAT bowl in the dishwasher? Hummph.").

G. got into it with her over politics at one point (always a fruitless fight, but I appreciate him standing up for what we believe in, especially when she acts like anyone who disagrees with her old-fashioned and self-interested politics is a complete numbskull). She wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise (at some point she asked the waitress to bring him a Valium -- nice), and he finally -- politely -- told them that while they were entitled to their different opinions, he would not accept her condescension about something he believed in, and she should therefore feel free to take public transportation home. I guess this doesn't sound like much, but she's a force that can be hard to stand up to so I considered it a small act of valor. Unfortunately, she basically laughed it off. She must not realize she's alienating herself from her children....

Oh and one more: when asked by her other son on the phone how I looked (this is the first time any of our family has seen me since I've been really 'showing'), she answered, "Ummm, HEALTHY"? As in, UMMM, FAT? Really, why couldn't she have just said "Great," and be done with it? I think I am too sensitive. But seriously -- EVERYTHING is snarky.

Speaking of snarky, I feel like I shouldn't even be obsessed with these little grievances in light of some much more upsetting news. My dear friend SS, who was apparently beautifully recovering from leukemia, has discovered that it's back. And, he can't undergo anymore chemo. Which leaves a totally experimental, totally unapproved, full-of-potential-side-effects-and-without-any-real-data drug to try. If it doesn't work, he may only have a matter of months left with us.

I haven't even been able to cry -- I am totally in denial right now about this. It seems impossible. Much easier, then, to dwell on my mother-in-law's typical antics -- much more tangible. And an easier target for my anger.