I don't even know what to say about this.

At the risk of perpetuating the very thing I am mocking, I give you this:

My friend S.B., a new mother and recently self-proclaimed pregnancy guru, prides herself on sharing information that "the books won't tell you -- the straight dope." This includes choice tidbits like pooping in the shower following delivery, so you don't have to deal with the pain of wiping. Okay, that makes sense. To be honest, I wouldn't have thought of it... I guess.

So here's her latest e-mail:

have u figured out how to have semi-comfy prego sex yet? i should have included it in my tips...lay on edge of bed, w/ [G.] standing over you--place a chair behind him and rest your legs there-finally, support yourself semi upright with a six pillow nest in the shape of a U. keep me updated!

Okay. This is just a bit too... visual, my dear. Especially when you invoke my husband's name in your imagery. And -- keep you updated? What exactly does that mean? I think I won't, but uh, thanks for the advice!