Graduation day

Yesterday we hit the big 10-week mark, and graduated from embryo to fetus. That is very good news. Two more weeks till the end of trimester numero uno, and that will be a big relief.

Nevertheless, this past week I kept having these moments of disbelief that all this stuff could possibly be happening inside me. Like -- maybe it's all in my mind?? Well, I know I can't be imagining this f---ing morning sickness/indigestion/bloating that is with me all the time, but the rest is still just so... incomprehensible.

And scary... We went to the movies over the weekend and there was a group of special ed kids -- complete with helmets and uncontrollable muscle spasms and loud grunts and moans -- and I just couldn't help thinking about how difficult that life would be for parents AND child. Selfishly, I wondered if I could bear it. I didn't want to feel that -- but I felt it. Does this make me a horrible person?

In any case, I'll just feel a lot more confident when we can actually hear the heartbeat etc. (hopefully at my next appt on 12/15).

Meanwhile, my 20-year-old brother was in town for Thanksgiving and was the last of the siblings to hear the big news. He seemed genuinely happy but I think it's just a LITTLE too abstract for him just now. In some ways he even seemed a little embarrassed about it (maybe because it is a pretty darn direct acknowledgement that yes, sex DOES happen to his sister -- eww, right?!).

Later this week, visiting NYC for work -- hopefully that will be a good distraction. We'll see if I can fit into my ONE winter business suit. I've been putting off trying....